Nyx Book Reviews

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Things I Can’t Relate to in Romance

Romance might be one of the most popular elements ever in fiction. It’s almost impossible to open a YA novel without there being a love interest, and in adult fiction romance in every flavour sells millions of books. I’m personally rather ambivalent towards romance in fiction – it can be good to have it in a book, and it can be annoying. There are some often-used motifs in romance that I simply cannot relate to. This post might contain some of my personal experiences in the land of romance.


1. Love at first sight

I actually do remember the first time I saw my current boyfriend. It was in the first class of the year, and when my name was called he looked at me and smiled (he doesn’t remember this at all, by the way). Classic fairytale moment, no? The only thought that ran through my mind at that moment was “ah, he’s cute”. That’s it. No declarations of eternal worship. No, oh my god this is the most perfect human being I have ever seen in my existence. I really don’t see myself thinking that of anyone, ever.

2. Hate to love

When I truly dislike someone, no amount of kissing is going to make me like that person. I don’t care how hot he is, if he’s an ass, no way I’m going to spend time in his vicinity.

3. The drama llama

Couples in fiction always have these huge hurdles to overcome. Most of them are usually imaginary – some word here or some letter there got misunderstood, and because of communication issues the couple is kept apart. Seriously people, what would it take you to actually talk to each other? And then the problem is magically solved because they luuuurve each other. Without having a legit conversation. I don’t understand why the characters don’t just yell or curse or vent a little so the air is cleared.

4. Unrealistic sexuality

Sex is the sparkling unicorn of romance fiction. Heroes suddenly have bodily capabilities that medically speaking aren’t very plausible, the heroine is either a virgin or has only had one not so great boyfriend. The sex is always amazing and more mind-blowing than the last time. The YA equivalent is the complete opposite – reading YA fiction you’d think that teens don’t ever think about sex. Ever. Neither adult nor YA sexuality are very compatible with real life.

5. “She didn’t want him to kiss her, but her body betrayed her”

I don’t know about you, but I have full control over my body. Pretty sure that if you don’t want to do smooching, you simply should not engage in said smooching. This super common trope reads more like sexual assault than romance to me.

6. Finding crazy over-protectiveness attractive

You all know the type. Always looking out for her. Sending other people to look out for her. Spying on her while she’s sleeping. Following her around – just to look out for her of course. CREEPER ALERT. Sometimes this goes to the extent that the hero locks the heroine up or keeps her captive in some way to “keep her safe”. I don’t care how dire the situation is, you’re not a parent and the love interest is not your kid. Grown ups can make their own decisions.

What are romance tropes you can’t relate to?

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